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Vicevi I tako ide Mujo do crvenkapavice i putem sretne zlatnu ribicu koja mu kaže: pusti me i odvest ću te kod plavuše :)

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Staro 02-04-2008, 14:09   #71 (permalink)
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Kod Muje i Fate puna kuća izbeglica, pa nikako da se kresnu. Onda se oni dogovore, da Mujo uveče izađe u kukuruzište i opali metak iz puške, a Fata će onda krenuti u pravcu pucnja. Tako i bi. Po dogovoru, Mujo ode u kukuruzište i opali metak, kad ono, Fate nema. On ponovo opali metak, i ništa, pa ponovo, i tako čitavu noć, dok nije svu municiju istrošio. Negde pred zoru pojavi se Fata u kukuruzištu, sva raščupana i skoro gola!
• De s', bona, bila dosad? - upita je Mujo.
• Rat je, bolan Mujo, puca se na sve strane!
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Staro 02-04-2008, 14:09   #72 (permalink)
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Noć u preriji, oko vatre sede u tišini Vajat Erp, Bik Koji Sedi i Mujo. Odjednom nešto se začuje iz grma, Vajat Erp ustane i kaže:
• Ja ću! - i ode u grm... a iz grma se začuje TUP!
Vraća se Vajat Erp sa šljivom ispod oka... ništa ne govori, samo se vrati na svoje mesto uz vatru. Prođe nekoliko minuta, kad ono, opet se nešto začuje iz grma, ustane Bik Koji Sedi i kaže:
• Ja ću! - i ode u grm, a iz grma se začuje TUP!
vrati se Bik Koji Sjedi sa šljivom ispod oka... ništa ne govori, sedne na svoje mesto uz vatru. Prođe opet nekoliko minuta, kad ono, opet se nešto začuje iz grma, ustane Mujo i kaže:
• Ja ću! - i ode u grm, iz grma se začuje TUP! TUP!!
Vraća se Mujo sa šljivama ispod oba oka, ništa ne govori, sedne na svoje mesto uz vatru. Prođe tako neko vreme u tišini... tad se okrene Vajat Erp Biku Koji Sedi i reče:
• Dobro, meni nije jasno kako je Mujo uspeo dvaput stati na grabulje?!
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Staro 02-04-2008, 14:10   #73 (permalink)
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Kaže Mujo majci jedno veče:
• Majko, ja ću sutra orat'!
• Reci sine, akobogda! - kaže majka.
• Ma, majko, ja ću orat' i gotovo.
• Reci sine, akobogda! - kaže opet majka.
• Ma, ja ću orat', ne more me niko zaustavit'.
Ujutro dođe murija i pokupi Muju na pet godina u zatvor. Dolazi Mujo posle pet godina i kuca na vrata.
• Ko je? - pita majka.
• Mujo, akobogda!
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Staro 02-04-2008, 14:16   #74 (permalink)
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dobri
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Staro 02-04-2008, 21:03   #75 (permalink)
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Staro 02-04-2008, 21:48   #76 (permalink)
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Ivica se žali svom doktoru:
- "Doktore, doktore, sve me boli."
Doktor:
- "Ivice, a gdje te najviše boli?"
Ivica:
- "U školi!"
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Staro 02-04-2008, 21:56   #77 (permalink)
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Staro 02-05-2008, 12:35   #78 (permalink)
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Ulazi baka u zgradu, a u ulazu na stepenistu sjedi momak i pusi dzoint.

Baba: - Sta radis, dijete, tu?
Momak: - Simpu vutra, baba.
Baba: - Mojne ditsje na tonbe.
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Staro 02-05-2008, 17:23   #79 (permalink)
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Mujo je bio danima u bedu, tolikom bedu da su mu u glavi odzvanjala dva glasa. Prvi glas je bio opušten i tješio ga je:

Mujo, nema razloga da budeš neraspoložen, to je bio samo seks bez emocija. Pazi, nisi ni prvi ni posljednji doktor koji je opalio svoju pacijenticu. Uostalom, nemaš stalnu vezu pa da možeš reći kako si neku prevario. Uostalom, svi doktori to rade. Opusti se čovječe, te varijante "za jednu noć" su danas potpuno uobićajene.

A drugi glas ga je podsjećao:

Mujo, ti si veterinar!
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Staro 02-05-2008, 20:02   #80 (permalink)
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I ovi dobri
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